marriage

Self-Inflicted

I can’t bear it anymore, I can’t… all the anger; all the crying.
All the despair, the hurt, the love… it all has me feeling like I am dyin’
I will not sit here and wonder if you ever loved me.
What I do know, is what I once felt for you, it was intense and deep.
Slowly I burn with frustration and hurt. Knowing I gave it my all
and it still didn’t work…
I needed, I wanted, I prayed and I hoped.
But you took my breath and inhaled it until it made me choke.
Your betrayal laid so heavily on my heart, tore my chest muscles apart.
So overwhelmed, I wanted to die; the scope too big for my life eye.
Thought we would grow old together, but you just faded me, oh how so clever.
Did I expect too much, not noticing our bond fade away?
Or was I in denial then, as I am today?
Answer me! Your silence pains me to my soul.
You think without you, I won’t be whole.
But I will, the decision has been made. My sun will always shine but will
never move in to your shade.
Since you won’t change for the better of us, leave you now I must.
I know that grin sadly, I must with a heavy heart insist.
We must part ways, we can no longer co-exist.
Please go your way and I will be sure to go mine but before you go, allow me to say this just one more time…
Never truly were you ever a Payne; D-Roc, one day, I hope you live up to the name.
Our accomplishments, dreams, goals; you will never destroy, and you ask why?
Thomas DeMont and DeLaune still adore me; me, myself and I…

~ DeVyne Tha Messenjah

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Vibin’ (Episode Three)

It’s evident that I’m just trying to stay relevant. 

So I’ll just start some controversy just for the hell of it.

Stay in my element. Hood, but I’m elegant.

Penetrate my circle, no; you can say it’s celibate.

The best kept secret, you’ll see in a little bit.

Scandalized my character, but could never belittle it.

Too legit.

Formulate these phases with no ill intent.

Accumulating power, should’ve signed on with 50 cent.

Who is it? Jah, with the soul of a king though.

Will never ever be defeated, even when it seems so.

Ready to come home, tell that chariot to swing low.

They say I need a princess, I already got a Kween though.

Powerful, that is what our chemistry’s defined as.

Ride or die, it’s over stood why I love her fine ass.

Steadily growing stronger, even as the time pass.

Intoxicating love, you could put it in a wine glass…

 ~ Jah Soul

Are You Man Enough?

Real men don’t complain, we maintain through the pain.
Analyze and realize that everything won’t stay the same.
And the ability to readjust is an absolute must,
no rash decisions, never caught up in a rush.
Plus…
We know that life is really chess not checkers.
So when problems stack up like double-deckers,
we stay focused, meditate in the lotus.
Tap in to that inner power; call it mental hocus-pocus.
Magic…
And when it all starts to seem tragic, we can keep a cool head
and reach off in to the tool shed.
Mr. Fix-it…
We’ll be there in an instant.
Our determination is what keeps us persistent.
Yes, we never back down; never lay down our crown.
Make out voice heard like we had it on surround sound.
We stand up when nobody else is willing.
Take the center stage and tell the world how we are feeling.
Real men…
Can find us in the pen or even in the White House.
And a good man will flourish with the right spouse,
keeping out chest out.
Natural protectors…
A calm spirit, never letting silly things affect us…
– Jah Soul

From A Boy To A Man

Seven years ago, when I turned 30, I made a conscious decision to grow up. I slowed down on my meat intake, exercising more and most of all, I began to change my thoughts and actions. I went through a rigorous regimen of cleansing my body and mind. On the first of this month, I turned 37. Seven years after that decision, I can see my spiritual, mental and physical growth. BUT as this seventh year closes out one phase, so begins another. Phase 2.
I started this phase by officially getting married to my beautiful twin soul, Sharon “Isis Rain” Huckaby. I am now a husband, step-father, and son/brother-in law. I am the head now. The Alpha. A position not to be taken lightly; for whom much is given, much is required. So, I have furthered my growth by deciding not to put any intoxicants into my body and to guide and teach through my actions and not just by my speech alone. My family, my community, my brothers and this world needs a greater example to mimic. And so it begins…

– Jah Soul

Rise Of An Empire

Slowly we arose from the gravel and the graves.
With a purpose and a prose, despite our worries and our woes.
We saw a greater destiny through those eyes that never blink.
Shared ourselves with total strangers who eventually became the links.
That would start a chain reaction; many factors being built.
Pressing forward, gaining traction.
With our actions we can tilt
the world back on it’s axis.
We must shine so they can track us.
Light the way like living torches.
Our voices rain from porches.
Pulpits and prisons, just listen to our soul.
Reaching deep off in the darkness
until the masses grab a hold.
No one religion dominates or ever supersedes the others.
Our Kweens are all respected
and the Kings become like brothers.
These walls are built with wisdom,
conscious thoughts create the dome.
The population isn’t perfect,
but this Kingdom is our home…

– Jah Soul

Eternal Love

Before the lights go dim or cease to be,
I want to die while you love me.
There’s nothing wrong with growing old together
but with old age memories fade.
I want you to remember the vibrant youngster I was,
Not the shade I became, my hair going gray.
I want you to remember the kisses, nibbles;
every moment spent.
In our love making sessions, the perfume of our sex
wafting like a mint.
The peels of laughter and corny jokes we shared.
The whispered pledges between us, to let
one know the other cared.
I want you to remember me for forever and a day.
The good times, bad times, all times
every day in every way.
You asked why would I want to die while
you love me in our middle years.
If you would die before me, the love would never fade away
but I will be dead inside from all my tears…

– Thomas D. Payne

Family Affair

Problems, situations, and conflicts will always occur.
It is in the resolution of conflicts that make people stand out.
Every problem can and should be calmed
by talking about the understanding one another needs.
Act with compassion, solving differences; this is what
humanity needs to get along.
Let us talk until there are no more words.
We must explain everything until it is understood.
Be honest until nothing is hidden.
Listen until everything can be said, all doubt is ridden.
Question so that we can know why.
Be fair, so that every everyone’s needs are met;
give it a try.
If there is no communication, there will never be that bond.
If there is no bond, how will be able to get along?
No bond, no friendship, no relationship, no peace.
If we have no peace, how will we be able to love?
If we are not able to love, how can there be an us?
We must learn to get along, we must learn to trust.
We must do this for our family.
If there cannot be peace and love, there can be no us…

– Thomas D. Payne

One Plus One Equals One…

From separate ends of the earth we came carrying
our love, our treasures, our laughter, our hearts.
From different ends of the city we came from various
points where we once stood no near yet far apart.
From opposite ends of the world we came bold and overjoyed.
From distinct ends of life we came finding
magic never experienced.
A young girl and a boy, from conflicting houses.
We came to learn to hold each other tight.
From opposite ends of a kiss we came to
stare beneath the stars at night.
From different ends of a heart we smile,
two lives blended together as one.
From separate ends of the universe
we came to shine bright as the sun.
Now that our two opposite heavens have combined,
no more storms, no more traverse skies.
We carry the same love for each other
simply together, simply you and I…

-Thomas D. Payne

Diggin’ On You

We’re two peas in a pod. Two monkeys in a barrel.
Me, the tree branch and you, the cute sparrow.
Got hit by cupid, didn’t even feel the arrow.
All I see is you, damn, I guess my vision has narrowed.
Hey, we fit together, like a pot of peas and carrots.
So whatever is in my future, baby, we both can share it.
You’re my other half. The peanut butter to my jelly.
And your sexy smile puts butterflies in my belly.
Like Bonnie and Clyde, ready to ride.
I’ll tattoo your face on my ribs,
so I will always have you by my side.
Hide my secrets in your soul,
place my dreams in your essence.
Etch my name in your heart
and thank God for your presence.
Your existence is the reason for this sentence.
Our love is a marathon and I’m ready to go the distance.
This love thing that we claim is so intense.
I fell hard for you girl,
but it was really common sense…
– Jah Soul

Heaven Sent

Do you know what it meant when I said you were heaven sent?

Do you feel like you’re a miracle or something a little more lyrical?

Like a living, breathing love song, singing the sweetest of notes.

Taught me how to love again with every song you wrote.

When I say heaven sent, do you picture your wings?

Because you are an angel with all the joy you bring.

No, when I say heaven sent, I mean you came straight from the essence

because the whole time you’ve been with me

you’ve been nothing short of a blessing…

– Jah Soul