father

No More Complaining ~ Part 1

STOP! I’m tired of this! We’re steadily blaming the whites for our loses. When are we going to start blaming ourselves? We had a choice in everything that has happened in our history, so let’s quit playing this game.
Let’s quit saying “ I hate these white folks because they locked me up”. Hold up, no one told you to pick up that gun and blast that man for his car. No one made you sell the crack, heroin, or the weed you were caught with. It wasn’t a white person who came asking you to join a gang, start robbing, stealing and killing causing you to get knocked for organized crime.
We say the black man doesn’t fly the plane to bring the dope in to the United States, oh, but when it gets here we have no problem distributing it and poisoning our communities. We have destroyed our hoods with drugs, guns and petty violence. Then we have the nerve to scream “Black Pride, fight the power”. What power? We are the only power holding US back. Stopping progress, we are our own worse enemy.
We are so negative that a positive becomes a negative. We keep ourselves in black boxes with no escape. We can see a child acting up and what do we do? Nothing! We will say, “that ain’t my child, so why worry?” Better yet, we don’t even give the child a chance because we have a habit of telling them “ you’re going to be like you’re daddy” (who’s likely in prison), “she’s going to be like her momma” (maybe on assistance), or “they’re going to be like their no-good uncle such and such” (perhaps dead) and so on.
If we see this, we must try to correct it. Black men and black women, NOW is the time to make a change! We are a family, not just a color or race. It takes a village to raise a child, why are we not helping? We are only dysfunctional because we diss each other instead of helping to solve the problem. We need to start being our brother’s keeper instead of his reaper. Hating ourselves will not help to elevate us…

– Thomas D. Payne

Icy, LISTEN!

Love is a very strong emotion, but it is an even stronger word.
Love can be defined in many ways, but my feelings are unheard.
It can be a mental, physical or spiritual connection that can run high or low.
It can be deep as the ocean or sea or shallow as a creek or stream.
Rest assured, my love is greater than the Red Oaks are tall
For a fathers love will rise above all.
Unconditional to the 10th power yet, unpredictable as a spring shower.
A love that will be there whether you’re right or wrong,
a love that will span time growing as the Universe is long.
My love cannot be forsaken or denied, though always tested and tried.
You are my spirit, my hope, my sanity; my life’s ebb and flow.
My light in the darkness that forever shines aglow.
You are my bloodline, my personal treasure, my gift to the world.
My baby, my sugar mama, Daddy’s little girl.
So, no matter how far away, no matter how long I stay; whatever people say,
I will forever love you…
As my mother told me, I’m telling you, my love is eternity plus infinity
And will always be true…

– Thomas D. Payne

Real Talk (Thoughts from Payne)

In the streets, a lot of things get instilled in you; greed, self-preservation, lust, hatred, pain, selfishness…It’s a driving force. It’s hard to change these things, but I have, because I wanted to. Not because anyone else convinced me. My grandparents tried to instill God in my life, it was around me but not in me.
Despite what friends and loved ones want for me, or hope I will achieve, it’s my life and I decide what I will try to make of it. People can plan or hope all they want for those they care about, but in the end, it is each individual who must take responsibility for their own life and make the choice for themselves.
Now is the time when I, as a man, must swallow my pride and admit that I am need of help for the betterment of me alone and not to benefit someone else. My choice is to be a devoted husband, caring father and selfless lover. To be a better man in general, rising above my fears, inadequacies, and inconsistencies.
I have outgrown my worthless, childhood fantasies. Acknowledging my past mistakes, in an honest attempt to do something great. To create a better personality and identity. But, I do thank any and everyone who ever prayed or lent me a helping hand. I heard you, I just wasn’t ready then, but I am now…
– Thomas D. Payne