family

Cater to Her

I’ve heard women talk about having the desire to pursue a man but hesitate because they have a fear of appearing to be “needy” or “thirsty”. I can understand this, but as I continued to think about this subject a little longer, I realized that perhaps women have the right to be a tad bit “needy”.
It’s a fact that in these days and times, most women are emotionally and mentally malnourished. Most times the only thing we men have to offer, besides a hard time is a piece of what we call, lingam. We satisfy women’s physical needs half the time and don’t pay attention to their emotional and mental needs. We fail to feed their mind and soul, and over time, they become severely starved. So, in turn, women become needy and thirsty. It’s not because they are some kind of psycho chick whose only desire is to cling to a man, but because she has not been properly and fully fed.
Women must be completely tended to; mind, body and soul. As Kings, it is our job to not only satisfy their physical needs but to make sure they are satiated mentally and emotionally. Many thirst for wisdom and guidance, and are starving for affection. They need a strong man that will build them up mentally and emotionally. We must become a teacher, caregiver and protector. We must not only provide words of wisdom and substance to sustain and strengthen her, we must also act on what we say.
If our women are needy and thirsty, it is more of a testament of our failure to give them our true love. So, if you find that your Kween is thirsty, perhaps it is time to quench that thirst. If she is needy, fulfill those needs willingly and joyfully. A king should confidently spoon feed his Kween with love, passion and encouragement until she is full. In turn, she will be refreshed, energized and encouraged and will be proud to stand by the side of her King.

– Jah Soul

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No More Complaining ~ Part 1

STOP! I’m tired of this! We’re steadily blaming the whites for our loses. When are we going to start blaming ourselves? We had a choice in everything that has happened in our history, so let’s quit playing this game.
Let’s quit saying “ I hate these white folks because they locked me up”. Hold up, no one told you to pick up that gun and blast that man for his car. No one made you sell the crack, heroin, or the weed you were caught with. It wasn’t a white person who came asking you to join a gang, start robbing, stealing and killing causing you to get knocked for organized crime.
We say the black man doesn’t fly the plane to bring the dope in to the United States, oh, but when it gets here we have no problem distributing it and poisoning our communities. We have destroyed our hoods with drugs, guns and petty violence. Then we have the nerve to scream “Black Pride, fight the power”. What power? We are the only power holding US back. Stopping progress, we are our own worse enemy.
We are so negative that a positive becomes a negative. We keep ourselves in black boxes with no escape. We can see a child acting up and what do we do? Nothing! We will say, “that ain’t my child, so why worry?” Better yet, we don’t even give the child a chance because we have a habit of telling them “ you’re going to be like you’re daddy” (who’s likely in prison), “she’s going to be like her momma” (maybe on assistance), or “they’re going to be like their no-good uncle such and such” (perhaps dead) and so on.
If we see this, we must try to correct it. Black men and black women, NOW is the time to make a change! We are a family, not just a color or race. It takes a village to raise a child, why are we not helping? We are only dysfunctional because we diss each other instead of helping to solve the problem. We need to start being our brother’s keeper instead of his reaper. Hating ourselves will not help to elevate us…

– Thomas D. Payne

Icy, LISTEN!

Love is a very strong emotion, but it is an even stronger word.
Love can be defined in many ways, but my feelings are unheard.
It can be a mental, physical or spiritual connection that can run high or low.
It can be deep as the ocean or sea or shallow as a creek or stream.
Rest assured, my love is greater than the Red Oaks are tall
For a fathers love will rise above all.
Unconditional to the 10th power yet, unpredictable as a spring shower.
A love that will be there whether you’re right or wrong,
a love that will span time growing as the Universe is long.
My love cannot be forsaken or denied, though always tested and tried.
You are my spirit, my hope, my sanity; my life’s ebb and flow.
My light in the darkness that forever shines aglow.
You are my bloodline, my personal treasure, my gift to the world.
My baby, my sugar mama, Daddy’s little girl.
So, no matter how far away, no matter how long I stay; whatever people say,
I will forever love you…
As my mother told me, I’m telling you, my love is eternity plus infinity
And will always be true…

– Thomas D. Payne

Real Talk (Thoughts from Payne)

In the streets, a lot of things get instilled in you; greed, self-preservation, lust, hatred, pain, selfishness…It’s a driving force. It’s hard to change these things, but I have, because I wanted to. Not because anyone else convinced me. My grandparents tried to instill God in my life, it was around me but not in me.
Despite what friends and loved ones want for me, or hope I will achieve, it’s my life and I decide what I will try to make of it. People can plan or hope all they want for those they care about, but in the end, it is each individual who must take responsibility for their own life and make the choice for themselves.
Now is the time when I, as a man, must swallow my pride and admit that I am need of help for the betterment of me alone and not to benefit someone else. My choice is to be a devoted husband, caring father and selfless lover. To be a better man in general, rising above my fears, inadequacies, and inconsistencies.
I have outgrown my worthless, childhood fantasies. Acknowledging my past mistakes, in an honest attempt to do something great. To create a better personality and identity. But, I do thank any and everyone who ever prayed or lent me a helping hand. I heard you, I just wasn’t ready then, but I am now…
– Thomas D. Payne

No Man!!!

We…Do…Not…Hit…Women! Period!

Young men, sit down, let’s have a session. I see, contemporary America is promoting aggression.

Let hitting a woman be beneath you, something with to never be down.

In my era, we had Emmit Smiths and Luthers, I’m appalled by the Ray Rices and Chris Browns.

We do not hit women! That shows no masculinity, doesn’t make you look hard.

Some won’t learn from their mistakes until they end up on the penitentiary rec yard.

I’ve seen hard men in only two places,

shackled in their cell, locked down, or taking permanent naps, dirt thrown over their faces.

Did anyone teach ya’ll how to treat a woman? Having no father isn’t an excuse…

I was raised by a single mother and would never hit my wife in a dispute.

What happened to being civil or being chivalrous, open communication or discussion?

Having a loving, healthy environment instead of giving your woman a concussion?

We…Do…Not…Hit…Women! That doesn’t define a man.

Raise your hand not to our women but to stop domestic violence in our land.

We’re quick to march when a cop shoots someone we think is innocent,

we come together, angry in cahoots…

But, who do I see march in outrage for the victims of brutality and abuse?

Not many…

I guess until it’s your mother, sister or daughter that Ray or Chris hits, then maybe you will care.

Not cracking jokes like Fox and Friends, the message is to “Take the Stairs”.

This…Is Not…a Joking…Matter, humorless in fact, these men need to check themselves.

Most definitely, they need to learn tact.

We do not hit our women, we LOVE our women, protect our women.

We don’t hate our women or subject our women.

I’m talking to boys, young men and grown men, any male who hits a woman or girl…

I can call you a lot of things but a man will never be one!!!

– Thomas D. Payne

As the World Turns (Upside Down)

Subliminal mind games being skillfully played on the masses.

Bottles of barbiturates given so the minds are more like molasses.

Billboards and blow-up dolls can be found on every block and a dollop of a sexy trollop

will cause the men to flock.

Laced with lies for so long that it’s what we most expect, while morals and principals

are something we don’t respect.

Promiscuous princesses prancing around in place, waiting patiently for perverted

pedophiles to finally give chase.

Children of color dying for reasons not yet shown, being vilified like men,

although they’re not grown.

Down the rabbit hole I go. I wonder what land I’m in.

Where it’s weird to have a good heart, but cool to live in sin

and gangsta’s are continuously glorified, immortalized and praised.

So I ask the question mama, why isn’t this how I was raised?

If bad boys get all the babes, what’s the point of changing over?

Everyone around me is inebriated, so why do I remain sober?

The battle of Cain and Abel; am I my brothers keeper?

Physically we’re growing stronger, spiritually we’re growing weaker.

This world has become peculiar, a testament of times to come.

I just hope it’s some good ones left when it’s all said and done…

– Jah Soul

Special Delivery

Where do I start?  It’s been six years, I miss you woman, you’re still my heart.

Tell Grandma to stop trippin’, I love her too.  She always get’s much respect,

but this one right here is for you.

Many things has happened since you went away, I’m missing your guidance

and advice on a day to day.

Sometimes I still cry, yeah, can’t lie I do.  Try as I might, I have no one like you.

No one understands me but Pennie’s starting to be on that page.

Yes, we’re together, you said don’t point the finger if you’re guilty.

Comprehension comes with age…

Trying to hold the family together, Mama, it’s hard as hell.

My voice is losing authority the more I dwell in this cell.

Vinnie writes consistently, Jay and the girls stay in touch

Nette is doing okay but we don’t talk that much.

I made you a promise, just know I won’t quit or let up.

You had confidence I could do it so I will keep my head up.

Life ain’t perfect, you weren’t perfect either, still I respect what you did.

All the love you gave me, I passed along to my kids.

Speaking of, Icy is a young woman, now beautiful and mild.

Tae is doing well, working hard, got a little girl. Yes, your great- grandchild.

Pennie was relaying at visit something Icy put her through.

We both laughed out loud saying, “You know what Linda would do”.

We laughed even louder because the answer, we already knew.

Your parenting may have been unorthodox, but still I say “thank you”.

You were a kid trying to raise a kid, did the best you could.

Trying to get your life in order, you weren’t superb, but still it was good.

All the good times we had, I replay them and won’t forget.

Out of nothing you made something, we enjoyed it, would never fret.

You were more than a mother; my sister, confidant and friend.

Before I was able to get back to you, it has come to an end.

Yeah, I’m crying again… My feelings I can’t hide.

Remember you said, sometimes let it go. Never keep it bottled inside.

Hah! Didn’t think I was listening, I was. Now, I’m convinced.

My book and streets gave way to common sense.

Smile, indeed it took a second. I know it’s a major growth spurt,

I’m sorry you can’t see it in person.

Oh, Obama didn’t need your vote, he won in a landslide.

Now he’s in his second term, showing gray, he can’t hide.

What else? We had a family reunion, yes our side, heard it was nice.

No griping, no complaining, no snags, no fights.

Hmmm, must of been no drinks outside of sodas or any smoke.

Guess people buried the hatchets, letting old grudges go.

Anyway, just catching you up, you are missed and still needed.

Haven’t forgot anything you told me, even when you scolded me, I needed it.

Wish you had received my last card and letter that Mother’s Day.

But you moved on, so I take time now to say…

You are appreciated…then, now, through and through.

Gone but never forgotten, I will always love you.

P.S. By the way, tell Grandma to stop fussing and cussing – The Cowboys won today…

– Thomas D. Payne

The Imperfect Perfection

“Usefulness is not impaired by imperfection. You can still drink from a chipped cup” – Greta K. Nagel

~Encouraged by this statement, I was inspired to form a message. Pump the volume higher, please…~

People think because we are locked up and locked down in a chaotic darkness there’s no hope

we are considered useless, no-good, outcast and broke.

It’s far from reality, believe it or not my friend; the pen doesn’t make the man

the man makes the pen.

Most will remain asleep while others finally wake, some will learn to love

some will constantly hate.

It’s a thin line to understanding what should’ve been understood.

The choices we made to be selfish and false, or the choice to be true and good.

There are those who deserve their sentences to the letter, and then there are people like us

who strive to be better.

Many will blame the way they were raised, people they hung around

Creating excuses, half-truths that will always keep them down.

But me and the Kingz on the other-hand admit our mistakes, taking control of our lives.

Regretfully traveled through the darkness and into the light.

They said they could take us out of the hood, but not the hood out of us; why?

Another fallacy, crutch, excuse and a lie.

Couldn’t care less about the hood trappings and those in it

I’m pro-black, love my people, but I am anti-silliness.

“Keep it real”, they scream, no more can I hear the streets

because being real to me is being a better husband, father, and son

Taking responsibility for all I’ve done plus what’s to come.

Been down the rabbit hole, I’m not Alice, I’m done.

With places I’ve been, people and things I’ve seen

Would make the weak of heart, break down crying or even scream.

It made me want to holler like Marvin, a time or two,

from the lowest level I built myself up and managed to pull through.

Transitioning from a boy to a man, I’m doing just fine with this forced hand.

Learned my lessons, amended my transgressions, went to college and received two degrees

Becoming the man, I should’ve been when I was free.

I invite you to witness my change, all eyes on me.  Lost my ambitions of a rider, Hail Mary, follow me.

Like Pac, once upon a time I had a lot to say with no path

Until, they gave me a sentence and I couldn’t figure out the math.

It cleaned my mind, changed my thoughts, perceptions and patterns of living

gave me a willingness to share, that’s why I’m giving

these words that come from my heart without a single pause…

I’m bruised, not broken and far from a lost cause…

– Thomas D. Payne