epiphany

If I Died Tonight

If I died tonight, I wonder if I will have fought hard enough
to implement the Truth; that God is part of us.
Can I truly say I gave it everything I had
and I stood on my square through the good and the bad.
If I died tonight, I wonder would you really miss me?
Walk by my wooden casket, drop a tear as you kiss me?
Did I touch your life or was I just a memory.
Spoke to you loud and clear but I wonder, are you really hearing me?
If I died tonight, would the lessons I was giving
continue on like I was still living?
Would you see the wisdom I was trying to interject?
We can change this world, through our love and intellect.
If I died tonight, would you carry on this torch
or would you leave it on the ground from the fear of being scorched?
If I left this earth, know that I tried to do my best
never had intentions of leaving this world a mess.
Just sitting here wondering if I ever will pass Gods test…

~ Jah Soul

Intervention Divine

It’s never a delight.
Dressed in white, day and night.
Draining my fire, extinguishing my desire, dragging me down to expire.
In a cesspool of spite with a barrel of strife never imagined so morose a life.
My day begun before the rising of the sun, sorrowful plenty, joy…none.
How can I take so much heartache, as I sleep or lay awake.
Stalked by my death, his minions death.
Squeezing my lungs, taking my breath…
Until I hear a voice, feel a powerful source saying “stay on course”.
Know I am there, no matter what you bear.
When you think no one else does, I will always care…

~ DeVyne tha Messenjah

Religious Rhetoric 

I’ve shed many tears over the years I spent inside this criminal convent

And through it all, I stepped up to the call and stayed relent-less.

Senseless killings and shady dealings, Lord willing, 

I will stand and boldly fight these feelings.

Head pointed towards the ceiling, prayers ripped from my soul.

The reaper’s hand is on my shoulder, why’s his fingers so cold?

I was told to hold on but then they slathered my palms

With oil from the devil’s soil, and I’m supposed to stay calm.

No harm in turning on the charm, sweet talk my way in to Heaven.

Baptized in liquified lies, on bad terms with the Reverend.

BUT check me out, I turned those 6’s in to 7’s, traded my horns for a halo.

They say the streets are paved with gold, so how could I say no?

Created in his image, I guess I’m spiritual Play-Doh.

Flesh and bones, but I was shaped and molded like clay though.

I went from a peso to a dollar and change.

Reached for Heaven and even though they said it was out of my range,

I will keep fighting because I know my Lord will never erase me off his page…

At Last

It seems a lifetime…
I’ve waited; hoping, dying, climbing mountains, scheming, praying and more.
Just to have you.
I have pined, cried, ached and dreamed; fearing the silence and darkness.
Ceasing to never forget about this day.
Longing, wishing, always thinking, not knowing, overwhelmed with anguish
and gentle pain…
Now you are here, at last you have come.
After waiting all these years, vision of my heart and dreams.
Welcome Sweetheart! Welcome my love! Welcome at last!
Freedom…

– Thomas D. Payne

Lifetime Foes

Age and youth do not mix
Age is a marriage, a constant companion
Youth is the hot date, the quick fix
Age and youth go to war like opposing foes
Youth strikes without thinking
Age contemplates strategy and battle woes
Youth is spirited, wild and untamed
Age is calculating, reserved, claiming no fame
Youth is swift like the wolf
with lupine grace
Age is slow like the tortoise
moving in a set direction, keeping steady pace
They cannot, will not live forever
Age cares too much, youth is like whatever
Age is benign, youth I beseech
Age knows many things, youth I must teach
It’s a pleasure to try to make them co-exist
Now I’m experiencing them both in betwixt
As I live each day, I’m learning
Age and youth do not mix…

– Thomas D. Payne

Camouflaged Chaos

No one really sees the entity that is really me.
Sedating meditation keeps me from exposing my true character.
Using mental make-up to cover up those psychological flaws
that draws all sorts of drama into my karma.
They say that if I stay cool, calm and collected
I won’t be affected by these afflictions and
contradictions that creep into my reality
like a late-night love tryst.
I just want a slice of paradise after I’ve eaten
all of this bullshit that life has piled on my plate.
But they tell me to wait until after I die,
finally going to that big pie in the sky.
So, that means that I have to continuously
control this chaotic conscience that constantly
tries to convince me to chase my carnal desires?
Huh! And they wonder why I stay high, why I’m growing tired…

– Jah Soul

The Inevitable

Time presses on
Pushing up against our future
Facing expectations to the edge of existence
People whine
Wanting to turn back the hands of time
But time doesn’t unwind for anyone
So…
We’re forced to accept our destiny
Whether it brings pleasure,
whether it brings pain
All you can do is remain steadfast
and don’t forget to laugh every now and then
It’ll help you cope with whatever fate
time has placed upon you…

– Jah Soul

Something To Think On

“In the practice of every way of life and every kind of work, there is a state of mind called that of the deviant. Even if you strive diligently on your chosen path day after day, if your heart is not in accord with it, then even if you think you are on a good path, from the point of view of the straight and true, this is not a genuine path. If you do not pursue a genuine path to its consummation, then a little bit of crookedness in the mind will later turn into a major warp. Reflect on this” this is an excerpt from “The Book of Five Rings” by Miyamoto Musashi-
All of us have stories we have carried around for years about who we are and what we do. Revise and reject any of those currently hampering your progress. Those stories and ideas keep you anchored in the past instead of living in the present.
The more you learn, the more you will challenge those old assumptions. Do not be scared of this, it is okay to let those beliefs from the past go. Once you are able to think from a better perspective, you will see that things you have done in the past was wrong. You will be able to see a positive change in your life. This is called growing up, everything we did in the past was not always correct. We must live and learn. This is a new year and instead of making resolutions we will never keep, it is time we assess our situation and put in the corrections and life style changes necessary to live a happy life.

Peace and Blessings,
Thomas D. Payne

Diggin’ On You

We’re two peas in a pod. Two monkeys in a barrel.
Me, the tree branch and you, the cute sparrow.
Got hit by cupid, didn’t even feel the arrow.
All I see is you, damn, I guess my vision has narrowed.
Hey, we fit together, like a pot of peas and carrots.
So whatever is in my future, baby, we both can share it.
You’re my other half. The peanut butter to my jelly.
And your sexy smile puts butterflies in my belly.
Like Bonnie and Clyde, ready to ride.
I’ll tattoo your face on my ribs,
so I will always have you by my side.
Hide my secrets in your soul,
place my dreams in your essence.
Etch my name in your heart
and thank God for your presence.
Your existence is the reason for this sentence.
Our love is a marathon and I’m ready to go the distance.
This love thing that we claim is so intense.
I fell hard for you girl,
but it was really common sense…
– Jah Soul

What’s in a Name?

Brethren, why do we call ourselves everything under the sun but the one thing we are supposed to strive everyday to be: a man. I’ve heard story after story about who used to do what, be this or was that; but in these conversations I never hear “I was a good husband”, “a loving father”, “a doting son”, “caring brother” or a stand-up person: a man.
I’ve parlayed with the pimps, played with the playa’s, hustled with the hustla’s, swapped clips with the gangsta’s, macked with the macs, jacked dope boys for their sacks, and stole from thieves; it didn’t get me any closer to being a man.
Been a brother to the ones who didn’t have a brother, a father figure to the fatherless, and a friend to ones without a friend. Done broke bread with males considered weak, advised those needing advice. Made friends with those which thought of me as their enemy. What did it get me? I grew some, but still wasn’t a man.
Showed love to people who never loved me back, given to those who never even thought of repayment. Was there for friends and loved ones beck and call. Who was there for me when I fell? I stood alone, still a boy.
While standing alone, it dawned on me that those friendships, kinship’s, imitations and participation earned me nothing because although I used every name and moniker I felt I had to be in my dealings and travel, I still was not a man nor did I ever consider myself to be a man.
I showed the ability to provide, be unselfish and generous. Had attributes that was considered honorable; displayed friendship, loyalty and trust. Doing the things that I was supposed to do, things all considered as having respect. But these things were done all under the false pretense of being everything else but a man. These things didn’t make me a man, actually they made me selfish, self-centered and unilateral in my thinking.
So today my brethren, I say, it is time to become a man. We need to stop calling ourselves names we never meant to be. There is a lot in a name! The world respects men, not those boys that are pretending to be a man. Don’t give yourself a name, unless you plan to live the life of that name…

– Thomas D. Payne