enlightenment

Self-Inflicted

I can’t bear it anymore, I can’t… all the anger; all the crying.
All the despair, the hurt, the love… it all has me feeling like I am dyin’
I will not sit here and wonder if you ever loved me.
What I do know, is what I once felt for you, it was intense and deep.
Slowly I burn with frustration and hurt. Knowing I gave it my all
and it still didn’t work…
I needed, I wanted, I prayed and I hoped.
But you took my breath and inhaled it until it made me choke.
Your betrayal laid so heavily on my heart, tore my chest muscles apart.
So overwhelmed, I wanted to die; the scope too big for my life eye.
Thought we would grow old together, but you just faded me, oh how so clever.
Did I expect too much, not noticing our bond fade away?
Or was I in denial then, as I am today?
Answer me! Your silence pains me to my soul.
You think without you, I won’t be whole.
But I will, the decision has been made. My sun will always shine but will
never move in to your shade.
Since you won’t change for the better of us, leave you now I must.
I know that grin sadly, I must with a heavy heart insist.
We must part ways, we can no longer co-exist.
Please go your way and I will be sure to go mine but before you go, allow me to say this just one more time…
Never truly were you ever a Payne; D-Roc, one day, I hope you live up to the name.
Our accomplishments, dreams, goals; you will never destroy, and you ask why?
Thomas DeMont and DeLaune still adore me; me, myself and I…

~ DeVyne Tha Messenjah

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Do You Know?

Do you know why this monster lives inside of me?
Why the heathens and the thugs show love and confide in me?
Do you know about the demons that I have evicted from my soul?
Why my heart was frozen cold since I was 12 years old?
Do you know the lies that I faced, how my mom despised my own face,
do you think you can keep pace if my past was retraced?
Do you know why I’m shy, why I’m cool being a loner?
Why I climbed trees to find peace and became a pill-head and a stoner?
Do you see me in my entirety or only pieces of the puzzle?
Do you see why God is the fountain I continuously try to guzzle?
Do you know how I was created and why I really became a beast?
Why I screamed “Fuck the world!” and on friends and enemies I would feast?
Do you know about my struggle, what I fought to overcome?
How I stood and faced the devil and chose not to run?
Do you know the man you married, can you see my hurt and pain?
Or do you only see the sunshine and choose to ignore the rain?
Do you know about all what makes me who I am?
Do you realize the roads I traveled, learning to become a man.
Facing myself in the mirror, for once I am loving who I really am…

~ Jah Soul

If I Died Tonight

If I died tonight, I wonder if I will have fought hard enough
to implement the Truth; that God is part of us.
Can I truly say I gave it everything I had
and I stood on my square through the good and the bad.
If I died tonight, I wonder would you really miss me?
Walk by my wooden casket, drop a tear as you kiss me?
Did I touch your life or was I just a memory.
Spoke to you loud and clear but I wonder, are you really hearing me?
If I died tonight, would the lessons I was giving
continue on like I was still living?
Would you see the wisdom I was trying to interject?
We can change this world, through our love and intellect.
If I died tonight, would you carry on this torch
or would you leave it on the ground from the fear of being scorched?
If I left this earth, know that I tried to do my best
never had intentions of leaving this world a mess.
Just sitting here wondering if I ever will pass Gods test…

~ Jah Soul

Intervention Divine

It’s never a delight.
Dressed in white, day and night.
Draining my fire, extinguishing my desire, dragging me down to expire.
In a cesspool of spite with a barrel of strife never imagined so morose a life.
My day begun before the rising of the sun, sorrowful plenty, joy…none.
How can I take so much heartache, as I sleep or lay awake.
Stalked by my death, his minions death.
Squeezing my lungs, taking my breath…
Until I hear a voice, feel a powerful source saying “stay on course”.
Know I am there, no matter what you bear.
When you think no one else does, I will always care…

~ DeVyne tha Messenjah

Marvin Gaye

I am tired of this world we are living in.
Dividends… divided unequally amongst many men.
Keepin’ pace with the rat race,taking a toll on your soul.
People think you are rich because your heart is gold.
No relief…so we roll a leaf and light it up.
Or we pour it up and drink it all before the night is up.
Inebriated…God knows we needed that.
Give it everything we got but one day we will need it back.
The American dream, as it seems.
Is a nightmare to many, married to that pretty penny.
Single mothers being left to pick the slack up
because the daddy packed up and left her with no back-up.
This is a curse, the roles have reversed.
That’s why her spine is strong.
Raising those babies by herself and bringing the swine home.
Marvin Gaye… what the hell is really goin’ on?
Where did we go wrong?
And why did everybody tag along?
It’s time we man-up, do more than put our hands up.
Start a real revolution. Get off ya ass and stand up!
Unite as one…
There should never be a separation.
Elevation can be achieved with preparation…

– Jah Soul

Our Delight in One’s Misery

As I was watching the movie, The Grinch, I was intrigued by the change of heart the Grinch displayed due to the unwavering faith that Cindy Lou Who had in him. I began to think as that movie played out in front of me about how we make and watch movies which display the total change of heart in a person or how we think of a person but yet it doesn’t seem to happen in real life? Why do we believe that once a person displays a certain type of characteristic, that he or she will stay that way? Why is it we can believe in hatred but it seems hard for us to believe in change? Why do we say we welcome enlightenment, but yet we close our minds to it?
I was recently informed there is a show that has been replaying a particular episode which tells the story of the case in which I was involved with. It has played many times over the past six months. The show has portrayed me in such a way that if I was on the outside watching that show, I would be ready to lock that man up and throw away the key as well. I guess what concerns me is that this incident happened 14 years ago, but yet this show failed to research what happened to all the people involved now. The show failed to inform the viewers about how I have matured, the issues I was experiencing at the time and how I have recovered from them. The show failed to expose the growth in my spirituality and the man I have become today. The show cannot possibly display the remorse I feel regarding any involvement in this situation that I will continue to carry for a lifetime. This show just continues to portray me as a monster without even trying to understand the man…all for the sake of entertainment.
So yes, it burns me a little that people will create and watch feel good movies about a lost soul finding redemption. About discovering the beauty of love, kindness and helping our fellow man but we don’t look for that feel good story in reality. The movies are great in concept but not great enough to live it. We refuse to allow our fellow man the opportunity to show redemption and enlightenment in real life. You can’t possibly imagine how many feel good movies are behind these prison walls. People can and do change even in prison, but hey, who’s watching us?

– Jah Soul

Enough

Kinda feelin’ like we’re at the bottom of the barrel
but I still keep my brown eyes on the sparrow.
Found the road that goes to Heaven, just follow the arrow.
But, I must warn you that the road is really narrow.
Take a look around and tell me what you see?
Even though my skin is brown, can you still see me?
Even though your skin is pale,
can you still say that we can finally live in peace?
Yes, no… maybe?
This is OUR world… not yours, not mine.
One of a kind yet we are all divine.
Step out of the dark, let your little light shine.
Kill the ignorance, don’t you think it’s about time?

– Jah Soul

Poetry In Motion

The universe. Many of us know what the universe is and what it consists of. But, how many of us have ever questioned why we call it the “universe”? The true meaning of the word is so profound that it unveils our true reason for being here and what our purpose is.
First, let’s break down the word universe into simpler terms. Uni, as we all know, refers to one. A uni-cycle has only one wheel. Unique means the only one of it’s kind. Unite means to make or become one. So, the uni in universe is referring to one of something.
The definition of verse is “writing in which words are arranged in a rhythmic pattern”. Verses are groups of lines forming units, which creates a poem. When you ask a person who rap’s to “spit a verse”, you are asking him or her to deliver a couple of lines of lyrical content in a rhythmic pattern. So in essence, our universe is a single line of poetry, or as I like to call it “God’s one poetic expression”.
This, to me, explains why everything in our universe coincides as one very organized body of matter and energy. Just the way that the universe seems to operate in a perfect order is very poetic to me. A poem is usually very organized and written in a particular style. Usually, there are four or five stanzas with four lines or verses in each stanza and each stanza would have it’s own identity. We have billions of stars and planets in our universe, yet we never hear of them colliding into each other. Each one has it’s own space and it’s own identity.
It is believed that our own planet is the only planet in our solar system equipped to sustain an abundance of life. It was created with us in mind. Everything on Earth works in a precise order to allow us, and all other life forms on this planet, to live in harmony with each other. Every life form on this planet knows its purpose, with the exception of mankind.
I truly believe that the Supreme Being created us to experience life in an array of different ways. When we are born, we are like a blank sheet of paper and as we go through life, each experience we encounter adds a line of poetry to that paper. As we age, we continue to write and re-write our poems until the day we die. We are literally poetry in motion. So I ask you to think about this, when it’s all done and you close your eyes while taking your last breath, what will your poem say?

– Jah Soul

Kingdom Come

Down a hole like Alice in Chains, you would think I’d give up like I had nothing to gain.
Actually, I flourished, coming quite far. Instead of being an ion, I’m a shooting star.
Where light was dim, it now shines bright.
Once I was low but now have climbed to the maximum height.
Preparation, education and a little hope.
Painted a picture so vivid, you can call me Picasso.
With a chip on my shoulder and a plan in my head,
I’m surprising all the ones who thought I was dead.
Like Incubus, they called me a loser; trying to make me a stat.
Now I’m hitting homes runs, Barry Bonds at bat.
That’s what happens when true motivation, meditation and determination
rides a campaign of change and hope – forming a foundation.
I’m not Obama, the President but a president of something they couldn’t fathom;
setting precedent.
Pham stand up, Kings stand up! Kweens, kids, Konscious Kingdom, stand up!!!
Wake up, to our true awareness, physical and mental.
In coming days, in every way, it’s essential.
Never let em’ hold you back, strive for progress. See the bigger picture, never settle for less. Break the atmosphere, go beyond the stratosphere.
Open your mind to the universe, go far instead of near.
Break out the box, that comfort zone in which you stored.
Try something different, time to explore.
The probability of possibilities, you can be more than what you see.
Believe is all I ask, soak in these words, put your trust in me.
If I can do a 180 in the midst of chaos, this abyss; you are free, navigate,
get knowledge and appropriate a can’t miss.
As long as you open your mind, one thought can start a new reality.
We are what we think, kingdom come with me…

– Thomas D. Payne

My Struggle, My Shine…

Coming through the fire, I’m no longer in the game, I’ve grown tired.

Of running in the rat race, it’s time I find my happy place.

No more fussing and cussing, no need to justify my actions; end of discussion.

Time to care about me and mine, I’m done trying to change anyone else,

I’ve done my time.

With no appreciation, I am not a miracle worker.

My story will no longer be a tearjerker.

It will have a happy ending, way better than the beginning.

I have lived and I have learned, these stripes I have diligently earned.

But still, I carry my beauty, shining bright from within. Still determined to win.

But will be sure to do it in style. Look at my face; you won’t see a million miles.

From stress, making me look old. That’s why I have turned cold

to all the games and the lies.

You will see my story in my eyes, but it will be that of success.

As long as I keep being me, I will be blessed

in most things that I do. Trust and believe my words will remain true.

Sit and listen as I tell you my story, it will be about my strife and all about my glory…

– Isis Rain