drugs

The Battle Within

What happens when you lock a man in a cage with rage
flowing through his blood stream?
Doves cry, but have you ever heard a thug scream?
Silohuettes of a shadowless soul.
Hearts no longer beat, they’ve become calloused and cold.
Grab a hold of some narcotics and some counterfeit love.
Don’t judge…
Them lonely nights, you don’t know what it does.
But, above all else you try lovin’ yourself.
While nobody gives a damn about you; yelling for help.
Death is no longer an illusion, the intrusion is real.
This pain will soon or later heal.
That’s a delusion you feel, you turn your spirit into steel.
While emotions deflate, God won’t let you through those gates
with all that anger and hate.
So, quickly meditate and find that balance within.
That humble pie gets mixed in with some malice and sin.
But, then again, whats the use of even fighting the abuse?
That is when your grip gets loose and you call it a truce.
Doing everything you can not to hang yourself in a noose…

~ Jah Soul

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Do You Know?

Do you know why this monster lives inside of me?
Why the heathens and the thugs show love and confide in me?
Do you know about the demons that I have evicted from my soul?
Why my heart was frozen cold since I was 12 years old?
Do you know the lies that I faced, how my mom despised my own face,
do you think you can keep pace if my past was retraced?
Do you know why I’m shy, why I’m cool being a loner?
Why I climbed trees to find peace and became a pill-head and a stoner?
Do you see me in my entirety or only pieces of the puzzle?
Do you see why God is the fountain I continuously try to guzzle?
Do you know how I was created and why I really became a beast?
Why I screamed “Fuck the world!” and on friends and enemies I would feast?
Do you know about my struggle, what I fought to overcome?
How I stood and faced the devil and chose not to run?
Do you know the man you married, can you see my hurt and pain?
Or do you only see the sunshine and choose to ignore the rain?
Do you know about all what makes me who I am?
Do you realize the roads I traveled, learning to become a man.
Facing myself in the mirror, for once I am loving who I really am…

~ Jah Soul

Phase 2

God-body
So it ain’t no swine in the serving line
Eatin’ knowledge 360 when it’s dinner time
Full Circle; ignorance can hurt you
You’ll shine in due time, Prince
Patience is a virtue; moving too fast
You’ll stumble and fall over
No inebriation; we’re pure and all sober
Designated driver; just ride and I’ll chauffeur
Wanna find your way; just say it and I will show ya
Generation X; we’re the next Malcolm Little
Droppin’ breadcrumbs; gotta figure out the riddles
Alpha and Omega
If you’re somewhere in the middle; you need to grab a throne
Go on and listen to this spittle
The new hue-man; on our square is where we stand now
Used to doubt our strength; realizing that we can stand proud
Used to hurt our brotha’s; but we’re reaching out our hand now
Head was in the clouds; but it’s time for us to land now…

– Jah Soul

Camouflaged Chaos

No one really sees the entity that is really me.
Sedating meditation keeps me from exposing my true character.
Using mental make-up to cover up those psychological flaws
that draws all sorts of drama into my karma.
They say that if I stay cool, calm and collected
I won’t be affected by these afflictions and
contradictions that creep into my reality
like a late-night love tryst.
I just want a slice of paradise after I’ve eaten
all of this bullshit that life has piled on my plate.
But they tell me to wait until after I die,
finally going to that big pie in the sky.
So, that means that I have to continuously
control this chaotic conscience that constantly
tries to convince me to chase my carnal desires?
Huh! And they wonder why I stay high, why I’m growing tired…

– Jah Soul

No More Complaining ~ Part 1

STOP! I’m tired of this! We’re steadily blaming the whites for our loses. When are we going to start blaming ourselves? We had a choice in everything that has happened in our history, so let’s quit playing this game.
Let’s quit saying “ I hate these white folks because they locked me up”. Hold up, no one told you to pick up that gun and blast that man for his car. No one made you sell the crack, heroin, or the weed you were caught with. It wasn’t a white person who came asking you to join a gang, start robbing, stealing and killing causing you to get knocked for organized crime.
We say the black man doesn’t fly the plane to bring the dope in to the United States, oh, but when it gets here we have no problem distributing it and poisoning our communities. We have destroyed our hoods with drugs, guns and petty violence. Then we have the nerve to scream “Black Pride, fight the power”. What power? We are the only power holding US back. Stopping progress, we are our own worse enemy.
We are so negative that a positive becomes a negative. We keep ourselves in black boxes with no escape. We can see a child acting up and what do we do? Nothing! We will say, “that ain’t my child, so why worry?” Better yet, we don’t even give the child a chance because we have a habit of telling them “ you’re going to be like you’re daddy” (who’s likely in prison), “she’s going to be like her momma” (maybe on assistance), or “they’re going to be like their no-good uncle such and such” (perhaps dead) and so on.
If we see this, we must try to correct it. Black men and black women, NOW is the time to make a change! We are a family, not just a color or race. It takes a village to raise a child, why are we not helping? We are only dysfunctional because we diss each other instead of helping to solve the problem. We need to start being our brother’s keeper instead of his reaper. Hating ourselves will not help to elevate us…

– Thomas D. Payne

Shots Fired

Man, many are going to hate this, many might feel me. Some will applaud me, some may want to kill me.

Being I never beat around the bush, always speak absolute. I’ve met a few good men in this,

even they can’t stand the truth.

Crippin’ been over for me, so long ago. I was finished trippin’ back in ’92,

my love for the set had diminished.

Though I thought I’d stay down the course for most of my life, had a change of heart

with children and a wife.

I’ve seen a Corrupted Regressive Ignorant Purpose that served me to no end.

Understanding then; those who put me down, didn’t really love me or wasn’t really friends

or kin, to set me up for misery and tears.

Destroying the small progress I’d made; set me back at least ten years.

But what made my ass set off in a new direction other than left, was the vision I had to find my true self.

Who I was and who I am are two different beings, that’s what you get when illumination

transpires before your eyes, truly open seeing.

To all I put down, please know I’m sorry; I sincerely apologize for leading you down a dead-end street

filled with pretense and lies.

Hilltop, I’m sorry. Courtney, I’m sorry. Phil, I’m sorry.

To my brothers, Vinnie T. and Jay, I say I’m sorry.

Jay, it made you go try the other side, a brighter hue.

To my son, Taelor, I didn’t understand then; I’m sorry it affected you too.

Like crack, this was a poison spread through the hood, an epidemic.

Crack, I shouldn’t have sold, the gang never got in it.

But when you are young and dumb, full of verve with nerves to try whatever.

You feel invincible, never seeing the trap pulling the lever.

So to all my ex-set, definitely my big homies. I say today in finality,

ain’t no love between us, y’all phonies.

When you told me back then that the set didn’t travel, slowly but surely the false mechanism

began to unravel.

Now I stand with a new purpose, as I write these verses, a Consciously Responsible Inspired Person.

Until there’s a Community Revolution In Progress; never, ever call on me.

Miss me with that mess.

I know, I know… y’all laughing at me, calling me a mark-ass-nigga.

Only because, I’ve grown to be a M.A.N, something you’re not; go figure…

– Thomas D. Payne

As the World Turns (Upside Down)

Subliminal mind games being skillfully played on the masses.

Bottles of barbiturates given so the minds are more like molasses.

Billboards and blow-up dolls can be found on every block and a dollop of a sexy trollop

will cause the men to flock.

Laced with lies for so long that it’s what we most expect, while morals and principals

are something we don’t respect.

Promiscuous princesses prancing around in place, waiting patiently for perverted

pedophiles to finally give chase.

Children of color dying for reasons not yet shown, being vilified like men,

although they’re not grown.

Down the rabbit hole I go. I wonder what land I’m in.

Where it’s weird to have a good heart, but cool to live in sin

and gangsta’s are continuously glorified, immortalized and praised.

So I ask the question mama, why isn’t this how I was raised?

If bad boys get all the babes, what’s the point of changing over?

Everyone around me is inebriated, so why do I remain sober?

The battle of Cain and Abel; am I my brothers keeper?

Physically we’re growing stronger, spiritually we’re growing weaker.

This world has become peculiar, a testament of times to come.

I just hope it’s some good ones left when it’s all said and done…

– Jah Soul