Real Talk (Thoughts from Payne)

In the streets, a lot of things get instilled in you; greed, self-preservation, lust, hatred, pain, selfishness…It’s a driving force. It’s hard to change these things, but I have, because I wanted to. Not because anyone else convinced me. My grandparents tried to instill God in my life, it was around me but not in me.
Despite what friends and loved ones want for me, or hope I will achieve, it’s my life and I decide what I will try to make of it. People can plan or hope all they want for those they care about, but in the end, it is each individual who must take responsibility for their own life and make the choice for themselves.
Now is the time when I, as a man, must swallow my pride and admit that I am need of help for the betterment of me alone and not to benefit someone else. My choice is to be a devoted husband, caring father and selfless lover. To be a better man in general, rising above my fears, inadequacies, and inconsistencies.
I have outgrown my worthless, childhood fantasies. Acknowledging my past mistakes, in an honest attempt to do something great. To create a better personality and identity. But, I do thank any and everyone who ever prayed or lent me a helping hand. I heard you, I just wasn’t ready then, but I am now…
– Thomas D. Payne

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